About The Pressing Stones
The Healing Journey of a Nazi’s Daughter by Andrea van de Loo
The Symbol of the Pressing Stones
Andrea gleaned the symbol of the pressing stones from Sri Aurobindo’s, The Secret of the Veda. The pressing stones symbolize the forces that press on us, the difficulties we are given in our lifetime to guide us again and again on the path of purification of our energies and our unconscious formations. The stones press our obscurities through the sieve, the cosmic strainer, into the purity of wine or honey, the sweetness of delight.
About trauma
Every human being has a core complex, a wounding of the psyche, with its unresolved emotions and misconstrued perceptions. As long as any part of this wounding is not fully made conscious, it remains in the dark and from there continues to run our lives. This is where most spiritual practices and traditions fall short. No matter how beautiful and useful they are, and how much compassion and awareness they may foster, few direct us deeply enough into our own subconscious material and provide the personal safety and guidance necessary to consciously journey into and through the abyss. The gateway to our liberation lies in the core of the wound! We must go there. This is the true Hero’s Journey.
“Not everything that can be faced can be changed,
but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
James Baldwin
Andrea’s Story
Introduction
My father was Dutch, my mother German. Both were born and raised in Germany. Both were swept up by the ideological propaganda in pre-war Nazi Germany. My father became part of the German occupying forces in the Netherlands. In the post-war international court in The Hague, he was sentenced to death for war crimes, but was later released on psychiatric grounds. The war and its aftermath destroyed my childhood.
Healing from the impact of war and clearing my being from the massive shadow cast over my psyche by my father’s past, has been a major focus of my life.
In my experience, relationships are the fast track to healing and liberation, if we are willing to do the work. My trauma has been repeatedly triggered through my relationships, making them ideal opportunities to increase my awareness and the ability to heal. The willingness to be vulnerable and honest has been essential for my journey, so has spirituality. I started with Catholicism, I then chose to be agnostic, until I met The Mother, Sri Aurobindo’s spiritual companion, in Pondicherry, India. Looking into her eyes turned my life around. Since then, the Integral Yoga has been my path. Eventually, I became the proverbial wounded healer.
Only when I got together with a shaman in my fifties and with the help of psychedelic therapy, was I able to break through my dissociation. Then, after I became inadvertently addicted to marijuana, I learned basic life skills and spiritual principles in twelve step recovery programs.
I love my father and I am profoundly concerned about offending those whom he harmed and their surviving families. I also do not wish to offend any one of the millions of people whose loved ones were ruthlessly exterminated in the death camps of WWII. Nevertheless, I hope to invoke at least some understanding for the perpetrators. We naturally feel mercy for the victims, but the perpetrators have no place to turn. They carry their unspeakable shame, guilt and horror to their graves.
In 2003, when a dubiously elected president and his partners-in-crime perpetrated shameless lies about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, nearly the entire Congress voted for the country to go to war. I watched in dismay how millions of people waived their flags to proclaim America’s glorious superiority. I knew I had to tell my story.
I offer my life to you. May you be inspired to find and follow your own truth and pursue your healing one step at the time, in your own unique way, as you feel yourself to be guided.
gallery of Andrea’s Life
Andrea’s Childhood 1941 – 1954 in the Netherlands
My first two years were happy ones, then the war destroyed our family life. My father was imprisoned and my mother with her three small children was taken captive in a postwar camp, where my baby sister died. We came home to my grandmother’s house and shortly after, my brother and I were sent to Catholic boarding schools.
Growing up 1954 – 1971 in the Netherlands
Following the lack of protection, the isolation and neglect, my need for closeness was great. I was quite obsessed with finding the ‘right man’ believing that would bring me happiness and safety.
My Life in Auroville 1972-1978 in India
Dawn at the Matrimandir, photo and permission by B William Sullivan.
Follow these links if you’d like to explore Auroville and learn about The Mother.
My whole being said YES to Mother and Sri Aurobindo’s vision that we are here to manifest the Divine on Earth. Auroville, the City of Dawn, is Mother’s creation to establish a collective experiment in human unity, by opening and offering oneself to the consciousness and guidance of the Divine within.
“Sri Aurobindo has come to tell us: It is not necessary to leave the earth to find the Truth, it is not necessary to leave life to find one’s soul, it is not necessary to give up the world or to have limited beliefs in order to enter into relation with the Divine. The Divine is everywhere, in everything, and if He is hidden… it is because we do not take the trouble to discover Him.
We can, simply by a sincere aspiration, open a sealed door in us and find… that Something which will change the whole significance of life…”
Andrea’s Life in Santa Cruz, California 1979+
Daniel and I lived with our children in a small community on a farm in Santa Cruz, where we got married. It was a free and happy outdoors lifestyle. I gained expertise in restoring antique oriental carpets. Eventually, both Daniel and I connected with other partners. Daniel married Lisa and I went to live with Martha. It was with her that I started my childhood healing process and also learned to become a healer myself. In 1996 I met Hara Ra with whom I immersed myself in psychedelic healing work. I began writing my story in 2003 when this country decided to go to war in Iraq. I retired when I went into recovery from my addiction to marijuana. In 12 step recovery I learned basic life skills and deepened my spirituality.