Lifetimes of turning around the ancient tower
of searching for a Father God –
finding Her in my own true self
the great benevolent Mother of Life.
Turning to Her again and again
she is the lifeline to my soul
her photograph inviting me
Again and again to gaze
Ever more deeply in myself.
Out of my loneliness and the illusion of self,
having to prove my validity or a heart to defend,
I have come to the well in the center of the village.
The family of all to which I belong.
I have come to be with you
to hear your song and to sing my own.
We are learning to listen as
the mystery speaks
through each one of us.
Living ever more vividly
surrounded by my loved ones
who have already transcended,
I savor a love that surpasses
all tribulations big and small
of life on earth.
Walking in the early morning
awakening of the world
along the softly lapping bay
the clean expanse of beach
laid out before me
in a gracious curve.
The whole creation shimmers
with your light.
Having lived long and much and many times,
I have run out of the need to be something or someone;
anything other than a kind, somewhat intelligent, somewhat wise,
loving and generous soul amongst many,
anchored in the Great Love, the Source,
a particle of the Great I Am –
always looking for That in you and you and you
Going inward,
I see my grey sleek wolf’s belly
moving forward on long legs striding,
free, clear, unassuming.
My natural strength moving me forward
into the clear space ahead.
What was left on my doorstep
Like an abandoned orphan?
Will someone please take care of her,
Claim her and take her home?
But no, years later she was still there
Shivering in the cold
Silent and beyond hunger,
Her big eyes looking at me darkly.
I travel down in inner space and
land in my father’s heart-presence.
How deeply I am rooted in his love.
I came to his call
when he shared his passion with her.
She did not know much, but
he had chosen a kind, smart and beautiful girl
who for better or worse
chose to give him her trust
and followed him,
first into heaven,
then into hell.
Going within I found
A soft, peaceful, golden radiance
Permeating everything –
Each molecule a particle of sunlight –
Everywhere the same density,
The same softness.
Out of the bustle of the town
I enter the narrow passageway
leading to a stairwell.
Going down, the city noises disappear.
All becomes quiet.
I descend
until I stand before a tall wooden door
with many panels, but no handle.